Out with the old...in with the new

By nature, I am a purger. I love to organize things and throw old things away (or give them to Goodwill). This part of my personality, however, is the exact opposite of my clutter-bug, pack-rat husband, which sometimes causes us to come to blows...figuratively, of course! ;-) Our most recent project has been clearing out the guest bedroom in anticipation of my sister and mother who are both coming to stay for parts of the summer. Last night we spent over 4 hours clearing out the paper files by the old computer desk. The shredder and I became one. It was a beautiful thing to hear the whir, whir, whir and know that all of that space would be empty soon - and ready to be filled back up with more garbage in the next 6 months, I'm sure. Oh, well. We realized the difference between us when I kept shredding away and Ryan looked at me and said, "You're not even the least bit curious what those papers are?" Ummmm...no. I'm shredding our phone bills from the year two thousand what? He would probably have sat and looked at every bill and reminisced about the year 2003 for a few hours. Do I care who I called in November of '03? Not hardly. What I care about is seeing those clear shelves just waiting to be filled with pretty things.

At that moment, I realized that I have an addiction. I am addicted to the new. I get bored easily and I love to replace old items with sparkling new things. I love the way new things look in my house - something new on the shelf or the wall makes the house just feel fresh again. There is so much potential out there - so many different styles, colors, patterns. My mother calls me "fickle" - but I just like to say that I love change. If it weren't such a huge hassle - and a crazy expense - I'd love to move every 5 years just to get to decorate a new house! I love my house...but a NEW house would be so much fun. I also love how new clothes look straight off the hanger - no wrinkles, no little fuzzies, no wash wear or fade. Just perfect, crisp looking and NEW. I gave up washing all of Ava's clothes before she wears them about a year ago. I realized that when I wash things first, they lose that "never-been-worn-before" look that I love so much. Which brings me to my second addiction...little girl clothing. Ava has crazy amounts of clothing. I keep justifying it by saying things like, "It's not like I'm overspending!" or even better "There are other people who buy more than this for their kids!" But the truth is, I just love buying clothes for her because I hate buying clothes for myself! It is so much more fun when you know that no matter what you choose, it's going to look cute as a button on her!!!

So, watch out - you never know when this blog will look completely different...you know, it'll look NEW! ;-)

Got Church?

This morning, I went to church. Shocking, I know. It seems like it's been forever since I've been to a worship service outside of a holiday or special occasion. Honestly, I think I had lost faith in church during the past few years. I haven't lost faith in God, but just the institution of the church. When we first moved to this area, we "shopped" for a church, but didn't feel like any fit. They just didn't feel right. Then, we had Ava and...well, she was just not the kind of baby that you could drop off in a nursery and leave for a couple hours. Now that she's two and more verbal, I'm thinking that it might be okay to try it out. So, when my friend told me at a recent playdate about her church and how much she loves it, I figured it couldn't hurt to go.

The second shocking news? (Shocking for those who know us, that is!) The church is First Baptist. Yes, a Southern Baptist church! Pick your jaw up off the floor, mom...I'm serious. And, you know what? I loved it. It felt like they were speaking directly to me - like HE was speaking directly to me. I went to the 9:30 Sunday School/Bible Study class and then the 11am Service. The class was so welcoming and interesting. The leader of the group was very personable, funny, and down-to-earth. The sermon was fantastic - the orchestra (yes, ORCHESTRA complete with STRING instruments!!) and choir were great. It was more of a Praise and Worship service than the more traditional services I grew up with in the Methodist Church. But, it was not too contemporary - honestly, it felt a lot like Church Camp where Ryan and I first met. It felt familiar, comfortable, and authentic. After the service, I went down with my friend to get her kids from the nursery. Nursery? It is an entire WING of the church with rooms for children based on age - by month, not just year! They have pagers for parents to take with them in case they need you to come back for any reason. The kids sing songs, do crafts, have snack, play with toys, etc. It looked like a really lovely place for children and I would feel comfortable leaving Ava there. I think we'll try it next week and see how it goes.

Attending church and redeveloping my relationship with God is going to take some time. I have never really been "good" at praying. I've sent out a lot of "pleas" - you know "Please, Lord, help me to do the right thing" "Please, Lord, be with so-and-so during their time of need." but I haven't fully developed a prayerful relationship with Him. I often felt a bit...well, uncomfortable. I guess I'm such an analyzer, such a logical thinker, that it's been difficult for me to open myself up in that way and talk to someone I can't see and who doesn't speak back in a traditional way. I believe in Him, was baptized and saved...but just having a conversation with Him has always been somewhat tough for me. But, the message I took from the sermon was that you can't - and SHOULDN'T - go it alone. God wants us to reach out and share our faith with our friends. We are supposed to be needy of others. We need others to pray with us, share the good times and bad. We should admit that we need them and risk putting ourselves out there to share His word. We also need to cultivate relationships in His name and the pastor talked about how it takes work to keep a relationship healthy and thriving. I have long believed that to be true with regard to marriage, but I guess I sort of felt like friendships either worked or didn't work. Guess I need to re-evaluate more than just my relationship with Him, huh?

Until next time, I hope you have a restful Sunday.
-Amanda